stop smoking-drew: April 2013

BULLY BOOKS

STOP SMOKING

You are reading this book because you have tried all the soft options to stop smoking and of course none have worked. The reason is simple you really did not want to become a non smoker. You wanted to take a punt each way. You said you wanted to stop but subconsciously you didn’t , and in fact in many cases consciously many so called smoking quitters really have no intention of quitting.

If this is your case you are kidding either yourself or those trying to get you to stop into believing that you are actually making an attempt to stop. Of course you will fail, but you will say."Well I gave it a go didn’t I.." You also bear out the proposition that it really is hard to stop. But this of course is bulldust because like many others you only had a wishy washy intention of stopping in the first place.

We all know what being a smoker is all about . It’s about me- and if I want to light up to hell with everyone else. Well that’s the way it used to be but now you can’t smoke in clubs and pubs, restaurants and public transport. Shops and Malls , and of course all work areas are also excluded . As a result it is really only the dinosaurs that are still smoking and for some tricky reason many young women .You can still smoke in your home and cause other family members discomfort and illness, maybe you don’t care if you get lung cancer and your family has to muck along without you. You could loose a leg or get emphysema making you a great burden on your loved ones.

Then again they’ve had to put up with your smelly breath for years, which makes you a pretty uncaring, and it is a wonder that they put up with you at all.

Why are you so selfish? Well, you say, it’s because I’m hooked and I’m addicted to that damn nicotine. I’ve tried to give it up but it’s just like they all say it’s the hardest drug of all to shake. I’ve tried gums and patches , dummy fags and cold turkey . and just as they say it’s the hardest to toss. People said I was in terrible moods without the faggs so I just went back to the them.

Of course you did, you had to give the impression that you were giving it your best shot didn’t you. Well that’s just what it was an impression of a best shot. Smokers are the greatest little actors, They moan and groan and get irritable and angry and consume lollies and gum and the whole process goes precisely according to the ‘stopping smoking script’ as provided by all the other smokers that didn’t want to stop. Not that these withdrawal symptoms don’t appear real, they do for two reasons. Smokers feel they are being required to give up something that gives pleasure and if it was easy to give up they would have no excuse to start again. Now we are pleasure oriented beings and we don’t like giving them up. That is presuming our pleasure was not interfering with others and was not injurious to our health with the possibility of early death or crippling consequences.

What is this pleasure a smoker is being asked to forgo . Well almost without exception the first fagg you had tasted awful and more often than not nearly or did make you sick and it certainly made you cough. But you struggled on determined to join your mates .With each successive fagg you forced your body to accept the poison and as you puffed away with your mates you thought this is great these faggs make me feel good. Mind you each fagg was just like the first only your body had learned not to react in the same way. Pretty soon from enjoying a fagg after a meal you needed more in between .Eventually you got to the stage where the need for the next was hard on the heels of butting the last one out. At this stage it was essential to have a constant supply available. Cost started to become a factor and buying by the carton became the go also this way you were unlikely to run out. But the inevitable happened and at some time you were out .So you jumped in the car and hunted down a servo. But there were times when even this was inconvenient so you did what all-desperate smokers do and looked for the longest but in your ashtrays and smoked the stinking thing. Yep that’s how it gets you and you still say it gives you pleasure.

Well it’s the nicotine that’s got me you say. Well yes and no. Nicotine leaves the body very quickly so if you don’t light up in a

Very short space of time you wont have any in your system and you wont need to replace it, Anyway if it was the need for nicotine think of the chain smoker whose body is awash with the stuff but he keeps lighting up. So what is it that makes you want to light up another not long after you put one out? It can’t cant be nicotine you’ve got plenty onboard, it can’t be withdrawal it wouldn’t have kicked in and it can’t be that your suddenly self-conscious because you could be alone. So what is it? It’s the fact that you had the last one. Ridiculous isn’t it! That last fagg didn’t make you feel good, it didn’t give you pleasure, in fact it left you feeling unsatisfied! The only thing you have trained your brain to combat this unsatisfied feeling is - you’ve guessed it. Light up another fagg.

OK smart alec you say , I’m still hooked no matter what I’ve tried to give the things away and it just doesn’t work.

That’s why your going into training not training to give up faggs but training to stay off the bloody killers. Giving up is the easy part. The gloves are off the battle begins you are about to become a person of purpose. So sign on SOLDIER.

I ………………………………...swear that I am now a non smoker

And from this date, on I will adhere to the principles of the non smoking army as laid out in this manual. Wait a minute- army? Training manual? What is this? Anyone would think we are at war. Well of course you are at war, at war with the most ruthless enemy this country has ever had. . An enemy that has been winning all the battles. It kills us at the rate of 10,000 a year, cripples us by cutting off 3000 arms or legs each year and finally tortures us to death by suffocation from emphysema, heart failure and lung cancer. No enemy of our country has ever inflicted so much loss of life or brutality on our population in any other conflict.

No enemy has been able to infiltrate our homes and work places and spread through subtle advertising an insidious propaganda designed to stop us fighting.

No enemy has been able to manufacture its weapons of mass destruction on our soil and distribute these killing machines throughout our population.

And finally in the most ironic twist the enemy actually gets us to pay money to be killed. Ridiculous isn’t it big-bronzed Anzac being sucked in to lie down and kill themselves.

So now you should realize it is war and you are going to need to be in training if you are going to stand a chance against such a formidable foe,

TRAINING

The only time, except for the odd long shot coming home, that any of us get anything by way of a worthwhile reward is after disciplined training. That six at cricket, the prize at school, when the house sold, that new car, the trip and so on. Unless of course we are so naturally talented that practice is not necessary, in which case you would not need any assistance to stop smoking. Now who’s kidding whom? Greg Norman drives about 1000 odd balls down a faraway each day and he has got natural talent. Geneous piano virtuosos practice up to 6 hours a day . All sportsmen spend hours in preparation . Soldiers and police train for that eventual or regular confrontation that could mean the difference between life and death.

THE REASOPNS YOU SMOKE

Here’s a list of reasons people smoke tick the most applicable to you and score 10 for each tick.

I started young

All my mates smoked

It makes me feel good

It calms my nerves

It passes the time

It’s cool

Only wimps don’t smoke

It makes me look suave

It’s sophisticated

It’s spunky

My folks don’t like it

It takes my hunger away

It stops me getting fat

It feels good to offer faggs around

It’s something to do with my hands

I love the taste and smell

Total your score . The higher you score the bigger idiot you’ve been.

The lower the score indicates how stupid you can be to have so few reasons for taking up such a life threatening activity.

　

THE ARMY

You are now in the ‘ Army ‘ The non smokers army .You are here because you realize that it is time you did something for your own welfare .You definitely don’t want to end up an invalid or in an early grave.You owe yourself more out of life than that and you certainly owe those you love or are going to love you in the future a heck of a lot more in life than having to cope with a self inflicted disabled partner , father or mother.

You may have visited your GP lately and after a check he asks if you are still smoking. You said yes and he suggests that in the interest of your lungs, heart, and legs that you should cut down or stop altogether. "Yeh, I’ll cut it back a bit ," you replied. "That’s the shot ." He says in his best friendly voice. So you go away and do stuff all about it. He should have grabbed you by the shirt front and yelled . "Stop smoking you raving idiot. Can’t you read ,are you so stupid you want to die early. Do you know what emphysema is ? It’s suffocating you clown, your lungs get so stiff you cant get enough air and you get a chest like a barrel just trying to get enough. Lung cancer you must know what that is ! For god sake get out of my surgery you idiot I don’t want to be responsible for your death. go to someone else if you want to kill yourself.

If told you like that I’m sure if he you would have taken more notice.

Nearly everyone that wants to stop smoking puts it off because their friends tell them how hard it is. But when they do it they are surprised how easy it is and most wish they had done it years ago.

So DO YOU REALLY WANT TO STOP I said DO YOU REALLY WANT TO STOP. If you can honestly answer yes then please continue

OK lets begin THIS IS WAR and you are training for action. I am your drill sergeant and you will do what you are ordered to do.

Your not going to like me because I am not going to be nice to you ,it’s not my job to be nice . My job id to teach you how to survive this war and not end up in a hospital ward getting a lung ripped our or in a body bag headed for the nearest funeral parlor. I’m here to keep you alive you miserable smoker.

BARRACKS RULES

1. You will not have in your possession anything to do with faggs.

So throw all smoking accessories , packets with or without faggs full or empty,papers ,matches ,lighters, ashtrays,cigar,cartons .Out they go into the OUTSIDE RUBBISH BIN ===HOW and I mean NOW.

DO NOT READ ON UNTILL YOU HAVE CARRIED OUT THIS ORDER

2.REVEILLE. That’s army wake up time , is at 6AM you will get out on the dot feet on the floor.

3. Stretching exercises raise hands high over head and breathe in as you raise arms and out as you lower them Repeat this 10 time .Toilet .shower and shave(males)

4. Dress neatly, no slopping around in slippers or house coats or dressing gowns . These are hospital clothes and you are not in training for hospital, just the opposite. So give them to the needy at first opportunity.YOU wont need them in your new purposeful life.

5. Breakfast Greet other household members pleasantly NO GRUMPIES. Menu cereal with fruit, Juice drink and toast with tea or coffee ,tea for preference. Bacon and eggs or any hot dish is desirable but not essential. But the basic breakfast MUST be eaten.

Spruce up then start your day

6. Car driving Empty and clean all ash trays in the car and place the NON-SMOKING CAR signs one on the passenger side dash and one over rear ashtray or on the back of the front seat facing rear passengers.

Except in blizzardly weather the drivers window will be open or air circulating system will be on .The car interior and exterior will be clean at all times.

7. Work, Cordial greetings to work mates NO GRUNPIES .You are now a non-smoking member of the staff and as such there will be no ashtrays or matches or lighters at your work area and of course NO FAGGS or empty packets or cartons . You will display the NON SMOKING sign at your area if this is appropriate but you will be tolerant of those still smoking.

If asked for a FAGG you will have NONE ,If offered a FAGG you will say NO THANKS I DON’T SMOKE. Do not enter into any discussion on your position simply say I JUST DON’T SMOKE even if smoke is blown in your face you will not react as it doesn’t matter anymore as you are a non smoker. Practice the replies in front of a mirror each morning .

8. SUBSTITUTES There will be NO substitutes for FAGGS NO lollies NO Gum NO patches or Dummies. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS IS AN ORDER

9. MORNING TEA One cup of tea and a biscuit maybe and backto work at the required time .No goldbricking ,goofing off or bludging.there will be no whinging about how hard it is or how long it’s been since you became a non-smoker. Keep your mouth shut ,this is war and the enemy has spies and collaborators everywhere . Misery loves company and no one wants to see you get out in front ,it makes them look more inadequate.

LUNCH Counter lunches ore out a simple salad roll or sandwich

Preferably home made or a cup of soup and the drink of your choice ,then a brisk walk around the area and back to work on time ,

9. AFTERNOON TEA Tea or coffee or soft drink maybe biscuit.

If you are in a creative job you will not want FAGGS while thinking .Why would you ? The mental processes are impaired by smoking as the nicotine on entering the blood stream constricts the small capillaries feeding the brain rendering it less efficient .Should you be in a spasmodic involvement occupation you will not want FAGGS during waiting time . You’ve got a brain .Use it. Be curious about your job and surroundings ,your work mates ,the equipment and the paper work you are involved with become more efficient and knowledgeable at what you do and the organization you work with .

10 HOME TIME whether you travel by train bus or car YOU WILL NOT BE USED BY FAGGS .In fact if you have a packet in your pocket or bag or glove box you are now a traitor who has turned against himself .Go back to the start and reprogram yourself..

11.AT HOME other smokers must be allowed to smoke in peace but you must organize yourself a smoke free area be it lounge ,bedroom, shed or patio and it will be kept neat and tidy.

ADVERTISING

The multinational companies that manufacture and distribute FAGGS spend million in their propaganda war against you .It’s no holds barred huge billboards extolling the great time you’ll have filling your lungs with tar. Sporting venues plastered with signs to trick you into thinking that you are part of your favorite sport and associating with your heroes every time you suck in a lungful of toxic smoke .They used to have pretty girls handing them out at supermarkets and Malls but that is a thing of the past . Yes up until now you have allowed yourself to be conned by the carefree "ANYHOW" and the manly "MARLBOROUGH COUNTRY and the golden wealth image of the BENSEN and HEDGES fine products yes up until now you have been seduced by this enemy propaganda. But not anymore you are going to fight back and this time you will win because you have seen through all the myth and propaganda being hurled against you.

Our movie stars and celebrities have in the past set the tone for our social behavior and when it comes to smoking they certainly did a good job. The tobacco companies even paid the Studios and supplied the actors with all the cigarettes they could handle both on and off screen. The Actors who took part in these subtle promotions have been dying in their early fifties and sixties ever since.

To name a few – Robert Taylor the ultimate model for every smart tough suave man about town lung cancer. Humphrey Bogart 57 throat cancer .Steve McQueen 50 lung cancer, Nat King Cole a terrific singer but not into health 45 lung cancer, Rod Sterling 50 Heart disease. Michael Langdon "Bonanza" a 4 pack a day man even made 54,Betty Grabble 57 lung cancer, Sammy Davis 64 throat. Garry Cooper 60 lung ,Walt Disney and Yul Brenner both made 65 throat and lung,Desi Arnaz from I love Lucy actually made 69 .The list goes on and many of us who took to it when these stars were our idols have joined them in droves.The younger idols are still influencing younger generations even though there has been a decline in male smokers in the western world there has been a rise in younger females taking it up .

You should need no more urging than this, to become a non smoker stick with your training, you wont need it for long and you will be surprised how easy it really is and you will never feel like starting again.

　

　

　

want to become a non smoker. You wanted to take a punt each way. You said you wanted to stop but subconsciously you didn’t , and in fact in many cases consciously many so called smoking quitters really have no intention of quitting.

me- and if I want to light up to hell with everyone else. Well that’s the way it used to be but now you can’t smoke in clubs and pubs, restaurants and public transport. Shops and Malls , and of course all work areas are also excluded . As a result it is really only the dinosaurs that are still smoking and for some tricky reason many young women .You can still smoke in your home and cause other family members discomfort and illness, maybe you don’t care if you get lung cancer and your family has to muck along without you. You could loose a leg or get emphysema making you a great burden on your loved ones.